Dr. Jerm - Helping YOU Achieve Excellence In Life.
Hi, I'm Jeremy N. Johnson, your coach in excellence since 2008. Interested in a life of excellence? Read, watch, and lets connect! Contact Me.
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Emotional Stability is the strength of your emotions. It is your ability to handle difficulties in your life and to understand and have empathy for others. It is your ability to inspire and lead others. Emotional stability is not something we are born with. As children, our emotional stability is very weak and raw, requiring attention. As we get older and learn more, we have the ability to work on our emotional stability the same way we do physical exercise. Take a moment and decide which resource on emotional stability will be best for you.Emotional stability is an important and useful state of being. With emotions managed and under control, yet still having the ability to feel intense emotion and understand the reason for the emotions, a power in situations is gained. Take a minute and see what resources below will help you as you seek to master your emotions.
What Are Emotions?Simply put, emotions are the ability of humans to evaluate and understand or interpret what is happening at any given moment. That does not mean that the understanding and interpretation of your emotions is correct. Emotions are the responses you make to situations, whether that response is an accurate interpretation of events around you or not. Some common emotional responses you may have experienced in your life are:
Emotion Can Help Guide YouIn the comics and movies about Spider Man, Spider Man has a 'spider sense', which tingles and lets him know when he is in danger. Spider Man gained this ability after being bitten by a special radioactive spider. Your emotions serve as a guide in your life. Emotions are helpful because they provide additional clarification beyond instinct. Are you entering a part of town that has had crime? Your emotions will stimulate you to be more aware of what is around you. Talking to a car salesman and if you are on the ball, your emotions will help guide you to not get ripped off.
Proper use of emotions will help you in the following situations:
- Sensing when harm may come to you or others around you
- Knowing when to talk to someone who may need your assistance
- Knowing when not to speak in a situation
- In your employment, the best times to ask for a raise or other compensation
- To not respond negatively anytime you feel threatened
Emotions Must Be ControlledYour emotions must be controlled, or you will become a slave to them, forming harmful addictions and other negative habits. My wife and I have a cat named 'Sneaker'. She is a good cat. She comes up to us and purrs and likes to be petted. However, nearly all the time if we pick Sneaker up or pet her for more than a few seconds, she hisses at us like a King Cobra with too much caffeine. Wouldn't it be wonderful if that cat could gain some emotional stability and maturity?
We as humans are sometimes not too far from Sneaker, the hissing cat. How often do we immediately throw a hissy fit if something does not go our way? Ask yourself the following questions and see how you respond:
- When someone criticizes me, what do I do?
- When something seems to be going well, what do I do?
- Do I control my spending by only focusing on the essentials?
- Do I judge people frequently?
- Do I get angry and irritated easily?
- Am I accepting of other people?
Types of EmotionsThere are many different emotions. I want to focus on the following emotions which I believe are very important to understanding and controlling. These emotions are negative in nature, but I will show you how you can take simple steps to overcome them.
FearOften, the following causes fear:
- Asking for a promotion at your job
- Negotiating a better deal for a house, car, or other expensive item
- Asking a girl/guy out that you are interested in
- Speaking in public
- Confronting someone about something they are doing that is harmful or wrong
- Admitting when you make a mistake
Your fear of rejection is a major reason for not attempting anything in life that is new or proactive. Quelling this fear does not take reading countless self help books or studying the works of professionals. It takes one simple thing: a choice. You will or you will not overcome your fear. You will or will not be worried about being rejected anymore. And then you will stand up, walk to the place where you are afraid and overcome your fear by making the choice to speak the words that you are having such a hard time doing. Ask your boss for a promotion. Tell him/her why you are qualified. So what if they say no. What have you lost, except that you now know you tried.
DoubtDoubt stunts growth. Doubt prevents us from succeeding at anything. The reality is that our doubt is nothing more than a combination of a lot of emotions working together, along with experiences that have happened in life, to come to the conclusion that something cannot be done or that something is not true. In some cases, coming to the conclusion that something can or should not be done is a good idea. But this is in the case of obvious things such as jumping off a cliff or doing something foolish. In most cases, doubt prevents us from experiencing new things in life.
Doubt causes hesitation. As I sit here typing this website on my computer, I too have to deal with doubt. The doubt tells me: there's plenty of stuff out there on self improvement, you don't need to waste your time. My response to this is: bite me doubt, I am going to day after day after day, work on this website and make it help thousands of people come to the realization that they can succeed and be happy. Face doubt with this same determined attitude and you will no longer have doubt controlling your life.
FrustrationFrustration is ignorance to a solution. Ever seen a married couple, particularly a couple who has been married for a while, trying to work on something together? Generally the results are not very pretty. You have one spouse that believes something should be done one way and the other spouse believes it should be done the other way and both have a slew of ideas about how something should be done, and at this point, it does not matter who is right. What matters is that there is a culmination of so much self centeredness and unwillingness to step back, take a deep breath and realize that getting help and another perspective is a good thing. This causes a rift, and eventually snowballs into major marital problems.
Most frustration can be solved by doing the following:
- Stop what you are attempting to do immediately - just completely stop
- Take a deep breath and look around you
- Open your mind and think carefully about what is going on
- Share your thoughts with others and get their opinions as well
- Study books and other resources about what you are trying to do
- Eat a LARGE slice of humble pie and recognize the need for assistance
- Exercise patience and enjoy the opportunity to work with others
- Put a smile on your face and begin again what you are attempting to do
AngerAnger is amplified disappointment to expectations not being met. Anger/hate are very powerful emotions and the consequences of them not being controlled are very evident in the world today. People shooting other people, stealing, lying, cheating, and on and on. Making a simple choice to control anger can do wonders for solving many problems in life. But making that choice is not enough. The following are a list of simple things that if everyone would do, so much negative conflict would be removed.
- Seek to understand other people and why they do things
- Examine yourself and try to understand why you do things
- Uplift and encourage other people
- Accept that you cannot control everything
- Always approach any potential conflicts first with love and understanding
- Find the strengths of others and play to those strengths
- Understand anger only worsens situations
Understand the Emotions of Yourself and OthersIt is important to understand what makes yourself and other people tick. Put a pizza in front of me and I will want to gobble it up. Put that pizza in front of others and they will be repulsed by it. Taking the time to figure out the emotions of yourself and others takes a lifetime. The key is to learn how people react. Some people do not like to be criticized at all and will clam up if you attempt to criticize. Other people are a bit more emotionally mature and can take even harsh criticism. Take the time to learn about those around you and what they are able to handle and not able to handle. Doing this will help build your relationship with that person and increase your sphere of influence with them!
Are you in control of your emotions? Do you have a temper? Do you easily get offended? Do you let others dictate how you feel? Do you spend time worrying about unimportant things? I made this video about emotional stability just for you. In it, I'll share how to have strong and stable emotions and what that will get you in your life. If you're having a hard time in your relationship or getting a good/better job, or you feel stressed out, or anything negative, this video will help you move toward those things rather than away from them.
I hope you enjoyed this section on Emotional Stability. Our emotions and the emotions of others are powerful things. Always seek to understand first.